Does the thought of what others might say hold you back?
When I resigned from my corporate job in 2019 I had so many ideas and things I wanted to do - dreams that I wanted to fulfill.
And one of them was to become a public speaker.
I had a coach at the time, and she helped me in pulling out, and sorting all of these crazy ideas that I had. Daring to speak them out loud for the first time.
I had never told anyone about this particular dream. About standing on a stage in front of hundreds of people. People who wanted to hear my story.
But immediately my self-doubt kicked in. It spoke with a very loud and clear voice:
Well, you don’t have a story to tell - do you?
I told my coach about this - and this is where she reacted in the wrong way. I say wrong, because I’ve learnt better afterwards.
Her words to me weren’t of the supportive character that you might expect from a coach. Her words were, and I remember them as if it was yesterday. “Yea, well, then you should become a facilitator.”
A facilitator? Really? Organizing events for other people to hold speeches? That wasn’t my dream.
And this is where this story could have ended, if I would have listened to my inner critic, and to her.
But I didn’t.
I didn’t give up on that dream. Instead I started to sort all of these crazy ideas of things I wanted to do, and tried to find a common denominator.
And what I noticed was that for me, to achieve all of these things, I have to become a public person. That was one of the stepping stones that I would have to master.
Being a public person.
At the time I didn’t have a profile picture on LinkedIn. I only accepted connect requests if I really knew the person.
My Instagram Profile was private. I hadn’t posted anything since 2013. And my Instagram grid contained of two pictures - one of my kids, and one of when I crashed our car.
Neither one of those pictures would support the future career that I envisioned.
And not only that.
Being public on social media was a huge, huge hurdle for me.
And the biggest reason for that was - I didn’t wanted to be judged by others. That others would be able to post, say, and think things about me that weren’t true.
So, combine the inner critic - the self-doubt - with the fear of what other people might say, or think, my success rate didn't really look that good now, did it...
I had a chat with someone yesterday. About the same topic.
He’s a jeweler, the third generation selling gem stones. He’s active on LinkedIn and has no problem with that, because in his own words “there he deals with professionals”.
He’s also trying to become more visible on Instagram, and that’s where he struggles.
He fears that he might come across as too salesy, because on Instagram he would deal with persons. Not professionals.
He has the same content, the same business idea, you can be sure that some of the people that he deals with on LinkedIn are connected with him on Instagram too.
And yet he struggles with that channel.
So, and here comes the piece which you’ve probably waited for - what do you do now?
You know you have an inner critic that is talking way too loud to you.
You might also be afraid of what other people could say, or think or write about you.
Let me be clear on two really important things:
You are your harshest critic. You wouldn’t talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself. If you would, that friend would probably not want to see you any longer.
Be kind to yourself.
The second thing is - people who criticize you are people who are at least two steps behind you.
People who have tried and gone through what you’re aiming for wouldn’t criticize you.
They know what you’re dealing with.
They have already faced their fears and come through on the other side. They know what it's like.
The jeweler from yesterday and I deal with challenges in the same way.
We invest in ourselves, in trainings and in mentors.
You need to look at your own challenges and see what you need to be able to overcome them.
But you won’t overcome them, unless you face them. Unless you bring them out in the light.
And when you do, I'm pretty sure it won't kill you. It will only make you braver. One step at a time.
If you’re looking for a group of like-minded people.
People just like yourself.
People who are in the process of breaking free from the corporate golden cage and building successful businesses centered around their core values - you’ve found us.
See you on the inside!
